Forty Thousand Dollars

THANKS TO ARTIST DENIS BEAUBOIS, we know what $20,000 in clean hundreds looks like. But it’s thanks to a crime story like this one, involving a drug trafficker, a real estate agent, and $40,000 in dirty notes, that we’ve had a bit more about Sydney’s political economy illustrated.

Honestly, if I wanted to explain to a foreigner exactly how Sydney’s system of class and social mobility worked, I’d point him or her straight to that case. A social climbing cocaine smuggler wants a future for his son, so he naturally thinks to Cranbrook, where he’ll fit in with a class of men training to move nameless commodities around for money. The school, I’m assuming, would have been happy to educate the heirs of any kind of distasteful fortune, as long as they paid by cheque, credit card or EFTPOS—not the coke-stained dirty fifties in a briefcase I can luridly imagine.

And what’s more natural in Sydney, when two people want to sanctify an economic transaction involving mutual wilful blindness, than to approach someone who turns blind eyes for a living: a real estate agent? The punchline of course is that all three parties involved are far more concerned about the attention of the Tax Office than the Federal Police. Let’s not even talk about the totally crooked and aptly named Crime Commission, which seems to have turned negotiation about confiscated assets into a broad church of criminal profiteering.

I love Sydney. Where our elites aren’t very elite, our drug dealers are the B- or C-team of international crime, all you have to do to be a “model citizen” is fling wads of money at local football clubs, our private schools are unashamed of their role as mere instruments of privilege formation, real estate agents refuse to accept cash from their tenants but happily launder for criminals, and everybody—but everybody—is unashamed.

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Fyodor · 5 September 2011, 11:17 · #

Sorry, Haiku, but I’m reading this thinking, “meh – another anecdote on sordid mediocrity”, then clicked through to the article and saw the name of the real estate agent.

You have to be a resident of the Eastern suburbs – as you plainly are not, being a resident of East Parramatta – to really taste the Schadenfreude mit Schmerz und Schmalz darüber on this one.

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Liam · 6 September 2011, 00:10 · #

Hombre, show, don’t tell.

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Fyodor · 6 September 2011, 10:56 · #

You really have to meet the guy, preferably when he’s trying to sell you property. Let’s just say that there’s a reason why stereotypes are so persistent.

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Liam · 6 September 2011, 11:08 · #

You know that apocryphal story about the first McDonalds in Moscow in 1991, where when the American management are training the Russian kids in customer service, and telling them they’ve got to smile and tell everyone to have a nice day, they’re asked “why should we be pleasant? We’ve got the hamburgers”?

That’s Sydney real estate agents to me.

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Fyodor · 6 September 2011, 19:18 · #

I’ve been to that one, on Pushkinskaya. The only time I’ve ever seen rich people* queuing out the door of a Maccas, in the middle of Winter, -9C.

Tells you all you need to know about Russian cuisine [fully sic].

*The burghers were better.

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Lefty E · 9 September 2011, 14:02 · #

Real estate agents. Ive always seen them as the “permanent student” equivalent of the non-teritary credentialled workforce. Its what people with no discernable skills – who basically dont want to do anything but hang out, gossip, and chat to folks – do for a squid.

Give a monkey a clipboard and he’ll still flog an inner city gaff on the eastern seaboard.

And thats sales. Then you have…. the rental division.

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